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Thursday, October 6, 2022

#Breaking! University Of Zambia Offers Bachelor Of Arts in Witchcraft. (Copy Of Certificate)

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Headlinenews investigative reporting discovered that the University has received applications to register for the course from millions of applicants from all over the World for the online course commencement. For this reason, they would be offering the online courses as soon as possible by the next academic session.

Research revealed the highest number of enquiries and applications is from Nigeria. The State of Origin part of the form reveals that the largest number of enquiries were from the South Eastern States Of Nigeria and NorthCentral States.

For ease of reference, the forms have a portion for States and Zone, like for global enquiries.

The fees for the online training will be reasonable, but the successful students will be expected to spend only three months for practicals in Zambia where they would be required to prove the skills taught like flying in the afternoon and at night, disappearing into thin air, turning into a cat, bird, dog or bat, hypnosis, casting of spells for special effect and many magical acts including causing fire, making documents disappear etc. However, they informed all those enquiring that they do not teach people how to kill, steal, rob banks, take other people’s wives or turn paper into money. They explained that this is advanced witchcraft which will require a PhD level and they must keep to the laws with their training as such students will cause havoc in the world once trained.
The course, once approved will be a two year online course before one can fly and practise witchcraft successfully.
Fees will be about $5000 money back guarantee.

No Drug barons or Scammers need apply. The University reserves the right to decline any application where the use of the power obtained may undermine the authorities or security agencies. The objective of the course is to preserve the African spiritual culture for communities progress and leadership actualisation. Witchcraft is the ability to perform above the human capacity and capability.

Nigerians React:
Heeewoooo! Na wa Ooooo. Nigerians dey rush them now. God forbid Oooo. This is evil
Pastor Josiah, ikorodu.

* This is African culture na. Why is it that we follow the whiteman to condemn our religion? Why? Where will we find that kind of money? Na for rich people na. Na wa Ooo.
James, banker, Lagos.

* Ahusubilahi minashaytani rahim.
May Allah forgive them. This is old religion practices. It has been overtaken by Islam. We can’t go backward but forward. This course for University no good Oooo. So, now we go get plenty witch for Africa. Them go do bad O. Hhhhmmmm.
Alh Sule, Jigawa.

* I don’t support it. Who can control them after the training and they have the power to do and undo. If you try, they will deal with you even if they can’t kill you. Pls don’t let Nigerians go for the course O. Govt must ban it. Even our own university must not try it. Haba.
Mercy, teacher, Akwa Ibom.

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